i thought i knew

Every once in a while I have a super spiritual experience where I feel refreshed, renewed, and ready to conquer whatever comes my way. I love those moments. But I so often feel like after, everything should change. I get into this mindset that my life will instantly take a turn for the better: I’ll meet new people, be popular, look good, increase in talent….etc…etc…But it’s all in my head. Yes, things do change, but not necessarily the physical properities of my life and environment. I am given a greater scope of mind or perhaps a mindset about myself and the world I find myself living in. My friends may not change, but my attitude towards them can. Beacuse of my experience, I can become better equipped to plan seeds of change and of life in them.

Everything is a journey, a process. Character development is not instantaneous. I am thankful for all the journeys God has led me on up to this point in my life. They’ve had their share of good times and struggles, but I’ve always come through knowing more about myself and more about the God I serve. Recently I had an experience with God where things were spoken and declared over my life. I half expected them to be fulfilled within that week, but they are all still in the proccess of coming to pass in my life. I don’t know when I will see the full fruits of what happened that night, but I know that it gave me a new way of thinking and, on that night in particular, it challenged me to do two things. First, it challenged me to examine my friendships and the influence that I have on my friends, and to keep myself accountable for how I act towards them. Secondly, that night challenged me to write more and to express myself more through the written word, which will hopefully bring out inner thoughts and musings that I have been mulling over.

“Poetry may make us from time to time a little more aware of the deeper, unnamed feelings which form the substratum of our being, to which we rarely penetrate; for our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ouselves” -T.S. Elliot

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